Profile: Kel Solaar




Kel Solaar


As lead pilot of the Qirex Industries team, Kel Solaar has won the F3600 Anti-Gravity Championship more than any other currently competing pilot. His success is hardly surprising given his mechanical expertise - he is an acknowledged authority on high speed flight and advanced weapons systems. Certain members of the Qirex board have had public misgivings in the past about his suitability - they feel their team should be represented by a more ’charismatic’ personality. Despite this, the dominant opinion within the team and certainly within the sport as a whole is that his mastery of the heavy Qirex craft is the only factor which should matter. There is no doubt that Kel’s current salary reflects this belief.

Solaar currently lives in Moscow. The famously grand Moscow Metro system, made obsolete by the adoption of cheap, clean anti-gravity transport systems, was bought by Solaar following his first Championship win. Subsequent prize money allowed him to convert the entire subway with its tunnel network and glittering stations into a labyrinthine residence and ’workshop’.

An extract from an article in ’Celebrity Home’ describes these bizarre underground living quarters:

"While arranging the interview during a break in race preparation at the Sokana circuit, Solaar described his residence as a ’modest home and research base’. We conjured up images in our heads - we imagined descending into the old Metro system and emerging into palatial living spaces with a small workshop area devoted to his beloved high performance flight vehicles. This expectation was turned on its head when we finally arrived.

Of course, the descent was as we had imagined. The Moscow Metro stations and tunnels are tremendously deep, and the ancient escalators are still in full working order. We stood in a row - journalists and photographers all apprehensive about meeting one of the anti-grav legends in his natural habitat. And yes, we did emerge into a huge palatial hall, originally built to the glory of Stalin and some long-forgotten five year plan. But this was not the living quarter.

Surrounding us on all sides were flight craft components nestling on velvet cushions and vintage anti-gravity ships resting on shimmering silk sheets. It was pristine and gleaming, but this was no dead exhibition space displaying relics from the past. As we walked through the echoing hall, Solaar explained that the items ranged around us were working machines, items bought during years of passion for high speed anti-gravity flight. We looked at each other as he lead us down endless corridors towards what he called the ’living zone’. We were all thinking the same thing.

Entry into the living zone confirmed our suspicions and spoke volumes about Kel Solaar’s priorities. A door was opened which took us into what was clearly an old administration office. There were bare pipes running along the walls and ceiling. There was an unmade, uncomfortable looking bed in the corner next to a table on which a moulding cheese sandwich sat festering. A bucket in the centre of the room caught water drips from a crack above our heads. Solaar gestured to us to sit, which we did on hard wooden chairs which could easily have been in the room for a hundred years or more. I asked him if this was his main living space. He confirmed that it was.

It wasn’t just bizarre. It was perverse. While Solaar’s machines live in luxury, he lives a life denied of comfort of any kind. This man is clearly devoted to racing. No wonder he wins so often."

Kel Solaar is currently known to be romantically linked to Anastasia Cherovoski of Auricom Research. Cynics suggest that this relationship is little more than a public relations exercise designed to maintain coverage for anti-gravity racing in the face of increasing competition. However, there have been other, even more damaging suggestions made in the underground race fanzines which the Race Commission cannot officially acknowledge for fear of adding weight to what is merely scurrilous speculation. This example from ’Face Race’ is presented without further comment:

"Our eyes and ears at Commission HQ have been wide open, and they’ve seen and heard it all. This is the stuff that Belmondo and his servants don’t want you to know, but remember where you read it first!

First up, everyone knows Cherovoski and Solaar aren’t really the lovey dovey twosome the tabloids would have us believe. But this is where it gets really funny, because although they’re both getting paid a fortune to play the part, Cherovoski CANNOT STAND Solaar! And I mean, like, the sight of him makes her want to hurl right there and then!

Fair enough you might say. So they just pose for the cameras, take the money and say good bye. But it’s more complicated than that, because while Cherovoski’s trying to stop herself bringing her dinner back when she’s in his company, Solaar actually ADORES Cherovoski. To my knowledge, he’s never even looked at a woman in his life before (machine nut that he is) but Cherovoski’s mysterious ways are proving a big hit on his top twenty.

Don’t go yet - it gets better!

Now this is real hot news and sensitive as your nips. One very hard working Stakhanovite mole of ours has been digging deeper than anyone’s dug before, and come up with this glittering diamond?

Cherovoski (Auricom pilot) is working for Qirex! Yes my friends, she is a SPY! Those Datacast money monkeys behind Qirex want this sport for themselves and they want to run Auricom’s humanitarians into the ground. Cherovoski’s in there to do just that! Solaar knows all this but (aaah, sweet!) he’s so in love, he doesn’t care. And that’s handy for Cherovoski because she can play him like a piano - who knows what she could get him to do in the cause of sporting espionage?

Don’t worry, we’re going to turn up the heat and find out more about this beauty. We’ll be right back, so don’t go away now!"