So last night, I spoke to Merlin the wizard in a dream. I asked him, "Do you have some magic spell to help me if I end up against one of the super pilots like pirhapac in the very first round?"
He said, "I'm afraid you're beyond help." (!! OHHH NOOO!) Then he said, "No, I'm only pulling your leg. What you need is the spell of Boredom: Venom. 20 laps. Weapons off. Barrel rolls off. But you must be careful not to fall asleep yourself, as this is a very potent spell. Whoever gets bored first will lose."
And so I thanked Merlin for his help, but I think I'll petition the Turbo Fairy instead, as she has been good to me in the past.
