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Thread: LH-58 Motors Team Profile

  1. #1
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    Default LH-58 Motors Team Profile

    After Challenger's successful background stories for each Wipeout teams, I decided to create my own team profile in this board (unless it should be taken to another boards) right after this thread. Enjoy!

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    20 – LH-58 Motors (Puerto Rico)

    In 2041, motor racing has been obliterated and AG-Racing has became a popularity around the world. However, most of the people disagreed in flying AG ships, let alone take interest in this, as several would prefer driving vehicles than flying futuristic ships. But with the fall of vehicles, mainly caused by high maitenance and in complete disrepair, a lot of civilians now flies AG ships by all means for use of transportation, but has quicly gotten used to them.

    Although most of the people prefer flying above the ground, seeing as how most people aren't over for their fear of heights. By 2060, and after the inaugural season of the F3600, fans from around the world, including the lush and endowed Carribean island of Puerto Rico (a US territory, but was never allied to Auricom, strangely), have gotten fashion clothings that represents the team (although many only likes to show off and be stylish), including ornaments for home decoration, regardless on what team they are representing for.

    Since then, AG-racing's popularity now became widespread, especially to the F9000 series. Things did turn for the worst in 2133 when accusations have sparked controversy, ranging from installing illegaly dangerous weapons to ships to heated arguments between Auricom and Qirex. Many fans from all over the world, including the island nation of the Carribean (which was located next to the Dominican Republic and the Virgin Islands), have stopped watching this because of what happened during the F9000 series.

    Later in 2214, the FX350/FX400 was announced and the fans resumes watching and enjoying the races. To an amazement, a new team, otherwise known as the infamous LH-58 Motors, made their first appearance in 2219 and had created an AG-racing ship of their own that will surely give all the other teams their true meaning of "perfection". So far, they have released a prototype ship, nicknamed the "LizardWave" (before this nickname was quickly dropped, knowing that its name was deemed uncreative), and has been doing very well by navigating through hairpin corners and twists and turns.

    There was one flaw, however; they needed to install an emergency system, should the ship become destroyed and nearly taking a pilot with it. The LH-58 Motors, now founded in 2220, became the first team ever in the island nation, in hopes to dominate the FX350/FX400 known to mankind.

    Although many teams declares LH-58 a complete joke, their now perfected ship is a different story. Their first pilot, Josué Santiago, has firstly joined LH-58 shortly after the opening. Although he did get at least 10 winning streaks in a row, he did however, lost only 6 times against elite pilots from different teams. Despite that LH-58 Motors was a US territory, they are anywhere but allied with Auricom, however.

    Alfredo Vasquez, founder of LH-58 Motors, found Josué to be an intriguing pilot to dominate the FX350/FX400 series. Hector Torres was also a second pilot from Panama, but was later retired and became a lead mechanic for LH-58 Motors.

    The second pilot, after Hector's retirement (even though he was only 23, although he resigned himself to partake as a mechanic for the team) was empty and Alfredo need a new pilot to fill up the space so he can make the team unstoppable. Kelley Russels, already a third pilot when she joined LH-58 Motors and Josué, the still lead pilot for LH-58. Amazingly, Josué was 19, making him the youngest pilot in the AG-racing series.

    However, he was suddenly dropped to being a second pilot when Alexia, who is 18 and is now the first youngest pilot ever, surpassing Josué, who used to be the lead pilot. Josué was jealous at first when Alexia Silvestre took his place of becoming the lead pilot for LH-58. But he suddenly has a change of heart and suddenly shies away from her for unknown reasons.

    Alfredo Vasquez has seen much improvement to the three pilots and that as long as he has a perfect ship for the three perfect pilots, nothing can stop them. At least, not yet. But back then, their appearance in the FX200 series was erroneous, because the three pilots (excluding Hector) are still undergoing some training. But right after this, they have made their inaugural appearance in the FX350/FX400 and have won several races.

    So far, no plans have been made on how would the LH-58's AG-racing ship would look like in the FX500 series, but one thing is for certain, many different pilots and teams alike are looking forward to find out what is Alfredo planning on what to do next and pilots and teams around the world beware, the rise of LH-58 Motors is only the beggining.

    Allies: None
    Rival: Everyone
    Arch-Rivals: Everyone

    Searching AntiGravity Racing Archives...
    2000 Matches Found...
    Opening File...


    To be honest, I have never seen an island territory join in the FX400 season. I swear I thought they are allied with Auricom, but really now? LH-58 Motors, or something like that, declares that EVERYONE, like those of Piranha, FEISAR, Qirex, AG-Systems etc etc. are their rivals and arch-rivals. I call this a false rumor!

    The yellow-green team, which is new, may be powerful and fearsome, but are they unstoppable? Doubt it. Literally. Sure they got their oh-so perfect ship, or so they call it, but so far, they lost several times during a race at Sebenco Climb and then in Talon's Junction. How's THAT for perfection? Guess it can't handle corners as it was used to be, no less.

    I also have a slight pity for Hector, the guy from Panama. Oh wait no, he's more techie than pilot, so I'm guessing he wasn't depermined enough to take on agaisnt the elites. And Josué? Sure he's a tough youngster, but I'm also surprised he still looks like a child for his 19-year-old age, let alone about the way he talks. But then I fell down laughing when he lost his position to being a lead pilot has been dropped by yet another youngster. Don't get me started about a relationship between Josué and Alexia, though.

    All in all, LH-58 may be a strong team, but I doubt they are, in fact, unstoppable. Moving on.

    -V. Armando, Piranha fan at the Press Conference room 2210, Caracas


    Ship Details:

    Their upside-down "Y" shaped AG-racing ship used to be nicknamed as the "LizardWave" (mainly because of their interest of lizards), but this name has been quickly dropped, because it was deemed uncreative and that it would be a total embarrasment. Nevertheless, this shipped was equipped with, obviously, parts from motor vehicles. It was fitted with two turbos on both of its sides and dual spoilers for navigating through harrowing corners.

    The latest ship model for LH-58 Motors was the TXD-30Y when Alfredo vasquz announced the model name for the ship he and his team have created. The ship also has an automatic seat ejector for emergency purposes, should the ship become on a verge of elimination and saving a pilot's life. One thing that might concern for the fans, however, is that if the ship was built to perfection, how would it take on against elite pilots?

    "Even with the help from other teams, we go solo. No more, no less, so it doesn't matter who we trust anyway besides ourselves and our pilots."

    Lead Pilot - Alexia Silvestre (Spain)
    Also known by the nickname "high school's favorite student" (even though she already graduated high school), Alexia was the first youngest pilot since she joined LH-58 Motors, with Josué being the second pilot. After Leona Silvaris, the lead pilot of Piranha, Alexia was taught on how to fly an AG racing ship by her mother and her father. Her younger brother, however, seemed to have a dislike towards the FX racing series, but Alexia dismisses this. Leonárdo, the ex-boyfriend of Alexia, also dislikes FX racing and that Alexia broke up with him.

    Alexia also noticed that Josué, now a second pilot and second youngest, seemed to be jealous at first, because he was dropped back as a second pilot (since Hector Torres from Panama reassigned himself from being a second pilot to a mechanic). But he walks away from Alexia in a shy manner. After her celebration of her tournament victory, Alexia happens to see Josué, who was sitting onto a park bench, just looking at the skies and Alexia happens to sit next to him, knowing about what happened when she became the lead pilot, filling in the absence of the Panamanian pilot.

    Josué told her that he was jealous at first but then he confesses his feelings torwards her, which made her happy, thus becoming a couple. Back then, Alexia nearly perfected the grades from exams back when she was in different schools.

    Even though she is a girlfriend of the second pilot, she is also quite a formidable opponent, especially when she had reached up to Zone 100 in a Zone competition in The Amphiseum, which has sparked widespread news that she has acheived her new world record. She may be a tough pilot, but has always been a quiet and kind person since then.

    Second Pilot - Josué Santiago (Puerto Rico)
    The second youngest pilot in the FX350/FX400 series, with Alexia the first. There wasn't any pilot who's skilled enough to take on against the elites. That is, until Josué stepped it up. He joined LH-58 Motors and has gotten 10 consecutive wins in the Phantom racing class on each different tracks. But to his misfortune, however, is that he was lagged behind in 2nd in Talon's Junction, thus ending his winning streak. The same thing happened to Sebenco Climb and he was appaled that he finished 5th.

    That didn't stopped him from redeeming himself as he has successfully finished 1st in Ubermall, despite that he nearly overshot the launch as he skyrockets the finish line with the Turbo powerup because of his enthusiasm and confidence. The quotes from the commentators says it all.

    "Josué in the LH-58 no problems placing Bombs and Mines so he can keep his lead whilst keeping the other pilots at bay!"
    "He's closing in for the win! WHOA! He literally overshoots the ramp by using the Turbo and over the finish line!!"
    "My god, he narrowly misses the top ceiling of the Ubermall building! What a race!"
    "Even the fans and other pilots are stunned to see Josué's wild performance! This is one stunt he pulled which gave us the true meaning of style, ladies and gentlemen."


    Josue's overconfident stunt has gained widespread popularity, fans even calls him as a "crazy youngster pilot" because of what happened earlier. He felt embarrased, but Alfredo and his team congratulates him and even tells Josué that he doesn't have to feel bad about his performance. Josué felt happy about this and ahs continued to race later on.

    However, after the race, Hector Torres was no longer the second pilot and that the slot was empty, with Kelley remaining as the third pilot for LH-58. That's when Alexia became the new lead pilot, and demoting Josué to becoming the second pilot. Josué, when he hears that he is now the second pilot and his lead pilot position was taken by the Spanish female pilot, Alexia Silvestre.

    He was jealous because of this, but when he confronts Alexia after her victory in a tournament race in the FX350 series, he suddenly walks away, his face red in shyness. Alexia noticed that he was jealous at first, but suddenly turned around out of shyness. She seemed curious about his sudden change of behaviour.

    Later on, Josué goes to visit Spain to see Alexia, but since he wasn't determined to see her, he simply sits at a park, looking at the skies, until Alexia happens to be sitting next to him. Alexia told him that her ex-boyfriend took an immediate dislike torwards the FX racing series, and the same thing happened for her younger brother. Josué eventually admitted his feelings torwards the lead pilot and they became a couple.

    Fans have spread rumors about what happened, but not before Josué competes in a Zone Battle in the Modesto Heights and claim his yet another consecutive victory. A lot of pilots seemed stunned about Josué's recent relationship with the lead pilot Alexia. But other than that, they keep their mouths shuts, knowing that they wouldn't want to humiliate him.

    At the interview, Josué declares that, "I consider every other pilots from different teams my formidable rivals and arch-rivals, no matter what.".

    Third Pilot - Kelley Russels (Great Britain)
    As a dedicated FX racing pilot, Kelley was renowned as the third pilot for LH-58. Much to their surprise, Kelley is not the third youngest pilot in the team (seeing as how she is only 22). She would do things her way when not racing, but was quickly befriended by the second pilot. Kelley didn't seemed to like it, at first, but it was enough to make her happy. Kelley has also secretly quit supporting Auricom, most likely because she didn't approved their heated comments torwards their arch-rival, Qirex.

    Back at the F9000 series, Kelley enjoyed watching the race, giving Auricom much support she needed, but has noticed illegal weapons installed inside the ship and when chaos ensued, she quickly and discreetly left the stands, appaled about this. She had sold all of her Auricom franchises via the internet, knowing about the illegal weapons installed insid ethe AG ships and Auricom's heated dispute torwards Qirex.

    Later on in 2221, Kelley joined the Carribean team (who are not allied with those of Auricom) when Alfredo sent her an invitation so she can be assigned as the third pilot. She accepted this and her skills nearly rivals Josué. When she hears that the two pilots of the same team did became a couple, she seemed proud torwards the two, but decides not to spread the word to other fans, knowing that she might cause a controversy, but the fans were fine with it, since they know that this wasn't the first time they witnessed that tough pilots have been in different relationships.

    Now, Kelley supports the two skilled pilots and LH-50 itself and that she will be participating in a Detonator match in Syncopia, in hopes that she can outscore the other elite pilots, no matter how daunting this competition can be.
    Last edited by MetaKraken; 31st October 2010 at 02:49 AM. Reason: Spell check (sorry ><)

  2. #2

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    *cracks knuckles* OK, never let it be said that I'm trying to be deliberately mean. I stick by the old adage that the cruellest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is perfect when it's not, and I have to admit that your profile needs a lot of work, Kraken.

    I noticed at least you spell-checked it, which was a good comb through, and a point in your favour. What I will say though is that the sentence structure is jerky, doesn't flow and is extraordinarily vague at times.

    Starting off with the first few paragraphs:

    In 2041, motor racing has been obliterated and AG-Racing has became a popularity around the world. However, most of the people disagreed in flying AG ships, let alone take interest in this, as several would prefer driving vehicles than flying futuristic ships. But with the fall of vehicles, mainly caused by high maitenance and in complete disrepair, a lot of civilians now flies AG ships by all means for use of transportation, but has quicly gotten used to them.
    First of all, past tense, meaning that motor racing had been obliterated and AG-Racing had become popular around the world. Secondly, when you refer to 'most of the people', most of what people? People in Puerto Rico? In islands in general? Amongst the entire population? If you're introducing a Puerto Rican team, it would help to introduce the general unease that a lot of the nationals felt towards AG-Racing. Also, 'quickly', not 'quicly'

    Second paragraph:

    Although most of the people prefer flying above the ground, seeing as how most people aren't over for their fear of heights. By 2060, and after the inaugural season of the F3600, fans from around the world, including the lush and endowed Carribean island of Puerto Rico (a US territory, but was never allied to Auricom, strangely), have gotten fashion clothings that represents the team (although many only likes to show off and be stylish), including ornaments for home decoration, regardless on what team they are representing for.
    It's vague here when you refer to 'the team', I assume meaning Auricom. And people 'like' to show off and be stylish, they don't 'likes' to be. And then it becomes very muddled indeed toward the latter part of the sentence - 'regardless on what team they are representing for'. That could easily be re-written into a more positive manner that gives more of an insight into the ways that the Puerto Ricans have adopted AG-racing. You could write something like:

    'Across the world; ornaments, clothing and other paraphernalia representing the four teams in the top tier of racing nowadays found their way into homes and onto the shoulders of the eager public. It was no different in Puerto Rica, which despite being a US territory, never fell in love with Auricom as their fellows on the mainland had.'

    When dealing with LH's entry into the leagues, I think it helps to maybe actually give some background. You set up the entire principles of people being adverse to AG-Racing and preferring motor cars in the first paragraph, only for you to forget the whole thing through the next few paragraphs. Make reference to the fact that LH maybe was a company that took pride in restoring old autos during the AG boom, and organised racing with them until they decided juicer money was in the AG-leagues.

    You then didn't mention anything about the emergency system either when you introduced it. You could have made reference to a tie up the company had to perform or the like.

    Aaand... *sigh* It pains me to say this, but if there was a Mary Sue of AG-teams, that's exactly what LH is right now. The 'perfect team' with a run of winning streaks. Look at F1 now for example - is any team, has any team in the past been the 'perfect team'? Certainly not, and I think with even bigger X-factors involved in the AG leagues that there wouldn't be one there. In all my profiles, I've tried to make the teams believable and flawed in some way... I can't pick up on any such things within this team.

    The relationship between the two pilots is a fair enough touch - it's likely to happen in at least one team, but you go about it with a little too much heavy-handedness. Make it more subtle, or even simply allude to it in accusations between two teams. The little intrigues that make up so much of the team details are hidden. Notice back in my Goteki 45 profile that I don't keep banging on about the biggest mystery - how did their base get destroyed? It gets a brief notice in the team details, and then more intrigue is laid down in the archive section. Here, you mention it in the team details, the archive, and two pilot profiles. That's a bit too much.

    Again, throughout the profile you have possessive noun, adjective and verb confusion. It pays to take it more carefully when you read it - I accept that English isn't your first language, and I have difficulty trying to convey myself in French when I write it, but I'm sure someone would have been able to proof read it. I just looks too disjointed here at the moment. :/

    I doubt if every team would consider LH a rival. Mirage wouldn't have any problems being a new team mostly kept to itself, and Harimau has only AG-systems as a rival due to racing pedigree. The Malays after all have the 'friendly' team and don't want to make enemies. Also, the Arch-Rivals tag is only for teams with a long standing hatred of each other - LH wouldn't qualify for one of those, unless it was another OC team.

    The Archive section is probably the worst bit of your profile... if sounds as if you're trying to write more details about the ship from a first-person perspective. When the Piranha fan admits that the team is 'yellow-green', think about it. If you were interviewed about a current racing team, would you really mention their colour unless it was to say something like 'Red Devils' about Ferrari? And also, never seen an Island join the FX leagues? *ahem*

    Make no mistake, this needs work, but I think you've done a great step in actually trying, actually posting. It didn't work out, but that's what writing is, trial and error. :3 I thrive on reviews like this, because I know what to correct next time. Thank you for an interesting read... I hope that in the future I'll see more from you, of better quality. ^^

    ---

    I'll also point out that I didn't just pull the dates out of my ear, I had a look at a good deal of sites for information and help as to where they all came from. Hellfire's own site www.wipeout-game.com helped a lot as well, as did the introductions on the Pure and Pulse sites. Finally, this site had a Fiction and Features section... I advise everyone to read the excellent profile of Pierre Belmondo if you do nothing else. From these sources, here's a rough timetable of AG-racing.

    2035 - Pierre Belmondo unleashes his first ever AG-Prototype on the world at the future site of Florion Height, Nevada.
    2044 - The AG Race commission is begun to set down rules and regulations for the F3600.
    2050 - The first F3600 (WipEout) race takes place at Altima VII.
    2085 - F5000 (WipEout XL) begins, five years after the murder of the head of the F3600 Race commission. Piranha begins its' involvement as a solo team.
    2116 - F7200 (Wip3out) begins, with the arrivals of Assegai, Icaras and Goteki.
    2132 - Russian Media company Overtel takes a controlling stake in the dealings of the AG Race commission
    2156 - F9000 (WipEout Fusion) begins
    2170 - The F9000 falls after details about its' corruption are leaked live during a race.
    2185 - The Belmondo foundation revives the AG Race commission for FX150. The entrants are FEISAR, Auricom, AG-Systems and Assegai. Assegai are crowned champions.
    2187 - FX150 is provided with weapons, supplied by Triakis industries. Auricom wins the title.
    2189 - FX200 begins, complete with the arrival of Triakis at season start and Qirex midway through the season. Auricom wins again.
    2192 - FX250 begins. Harimau International and Van-Uber racing complete the 8-team lineup. AG-Systems take home the win.
    2195 - FX300 (WipEout Pure) begins. This is the most ambitious league to date, with returns of Piranha Advancements, The Icaras Project, Goteki 45 and the beginnings of the Mirage team returning. Triakis wins, but is later disqualified, giving a hollow victory to AG-Systems.
    2201 - FX350 (WipEout HD) begins. EG-X makes a surprise appearance as Van-Uber is forced to withdraw due to monetary reasons. FEISAR clinch the world title in spectacular form.
    2207 - FX400 (WipEout Pulse) begins. AG-Systems win the championship fairly this time.
    2212 - FX500 (WipEout Fury) begins.

    Anyone wanting to make their own team profile I think could use this table as reference guide.
    Last edited by Challenger #001; 8th November 2010 at 09:50 PM.

  3. #3
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    I wonder if any major racing incidents should be mentioned. One such incident is the blow-up of a part of Temtesh Bay in Australia in(according to wipeoutpure.com)2164 that killed some pilots and made some unable to race after that.
    Eh...When was Overtel a Russian company? And yes,Pierre Belmondo tested the AG-Prototype in the Nevada Desert,but what makes you think it is Florion Height?And from rdmx's video,the announcement of tthe F-5000 is 2085.That league introduced controversial weapons capable of craft destruction.And from that video,the F-7200 Race League starts in 2116. In a Single City(which was then broadened to tracks from previous leagues after a 'revamp' of tracks.)And I'm wondering if the Temtesh Bay Disaster has some relation to Triakis(Mind you,Triakis IS from Australia and Temtesh Bay is in Australia)
    And anyone wonder why the timer(checkpoints that replenished the countdown) was scrapped after the F7200 Racing League?
    BTW,this is just a discussion.So don't flame me.
    Last edited by F.E.I.S.A.R; 31st October 2010 at 09:55 AM.

  4. #4
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    I agree with F.E.I.S.A.R. but things were made easier with the count down timer gone in the campaign and everything else from the F7200 and on. wip3out was a pain for me there was one track i could never complete due to the count down timer. but still
    wip3out was a vintage classic to me.

  5. #5

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    As far as I read the Temtesh Bay disaster, it was a mix of two things that caused the tunnel collapse. One that's given on the Pure website is that highly explosive rockets caused more damage to the mine standings than it could sustain, but I like to think it has something to do with the fact that the greedy and corrupt Overtel didn't pay for a decent structural engineer to inspect the mine before racing.

    Do you know if Overtel was a specific nation? I assumed it was Russian given that it was a long-time backer of Qirex. And thanks for the details - corrected the F7200 league. The F5000 was a typo on my part. ^^;

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    Thank you .

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    Was Overtel even a backer of Qirex in the first place? If so,why did Tigron successfully buy over Qirex?Why did Overtel not intervene if it was a backer of Qirex? That's a few questions to consider,if you want to say that Overtel Corp is a backer of Qirex.Unless you are saying that Overtel is MORE greedy than Qirex...

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    Yeah you're right, although this is my first time I've written a facfiction .

  9. #9

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    Overtel was indeed a backer of Qirex for many years, up until 2132 when it purchased a controlling stake in the actual running of the race series, leaving Qirex on its' own. That's why Qirex had to look for a new backer, and found it unfortunately in Tigron Enterprises. Both Overtel and Tigron were the truly greedy corporations - Qirex was just a racing team that considered revenue a key part of why they were racing. See my Qirex profile for more details :3

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    Perhaps this should be moved to the Fan Fiction and RPG section of the forum? After all,it is there for team profiles like this.

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