I just played this new game the entire night and I have a few ideas about how the trophies should have been... sort of. Here are a couple of suggestions. Please add your own as well!

You've been here before, right?
Lap all 7 newbs in a lobby

Beat motherfu__kin' Zico!
Equal or beat 31.50 on Downtown A-class using Feisar Speed

Zone 100 clear
Reach Zone 100 on any track

Gee, thanks!
Get hit by a missile from a lapped newb

Massive rage quit
Get all 7 opponents to leave the lobby