-I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
-Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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-I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
-Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Why won´t shrimp share? Because they´re a little shellfish!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what's the speed of darkness?
If men ruled the world.... Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
I don't eat meat, I eat only Vegetarian.
"I don't eat meat because I love animals, I don't eat meat because I hate plants."
LoL, talking of vegetarians, I have seen in a supermarket vegetarian sausages, bacon rashers and "beef style" vegetarian burgers.... WTF why do vegetarians want to eat things that look like meat??? whats next... vegetarian chicken legs and vegetarian pork chops?? haha, iv never understood vegetarians... if your vegetarian take off those leather shoes and that woollen fleece lol. :brickwall
What do you do if you see your ex, running around in your front yard covered in blood and screaming for help?
Stay calm.
Reload.
Try again.
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Comic sans walks into a bar
barman: sorry don't serve your type here...
:g
Lol, that typeface is terrible. xD
I was in in the public restroom - I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other cubicle:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed), "Doin` fine"!
Man: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I`m like you, just sitting here".
Man: "Can I come over?"...
Me: (attitude) "No, I`m a little busy right now"!!
Man: "Listen, I`ll have to call you back. There`s an idiot in the other cubicle who keeps answering all my questions" :lol
Pahahahahahahahaha xD
Awks. :P
1.My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
2.The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Two elephants walk off a cliff
Boom boom
Wonder Woman assures that she has an invisible aircraft. Heroine things.