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Yes I hate that - and then there are the people who have a hard time choosing a ship and just cycle through them all for what seems like several minutes.
There should be a kick function for that kinda stuff :P, but I guess if you were the host you could just start the game anyway and he'd be stuck with whatever ship he's cycling through.
I have not tried PA myself yet. Did not know that it could be such a hinderance but it's good to know that you can't get up there with your stats with PA activated.
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I'd say up to flash speed, Pilot Assist is quite humble if you are racing ok, even lets you come pretty close to the walls for cutting corners, only 'helping' when you are really about to mess up. In rapier and phantom, however, PA will mess you up if you're trying to race for times. It just jerks you around when you least expect it, so don't worry about people 'cheating' their times on the higher speeds - there's no way to go real fast with PA on.