View Full Version : Wipeout 3 is a terrible game, and here's why.

Dan Locke
1st April 2010, 06:58 PM
Reason 1: the graphics.

Oh, dear, the graphics. Look at them:


It's bad enough that they're low-res and pixellated, but get a load of the poly count! It looks like everything's made out of cardboard! And the colors are all too dull and washed-out - they don't hold a candle to F-Zero's vibrant palette!

Reason 2: the music.

Wow. The music is absolutely horrible. It's all synthesizers and drums, and it's so repetitive! Where are the guitars? Where's the hook? The bridge? The chorus and verses? Yup, it's pretty bad - I'd rather drive nails through my skull than hear it again.

Reason 3: the gameplay.

So, the graphics are bad, and the music is worse, but the gameplay is truly the cherry on this sundae of sci-fi racing pain. The steering is completely screwed-up - the hovercrafts slide around all over the place, they wobble in the air like they're sitting on Jell-O, and they can't make it around a corner without the stupid airbrakes. Even worse, they stop when they touch the walls! If the worthless controls don't make getting around the track hard enough, the enemies do - they're always shooting at you with rockets and missiles! What is this? Halo?

Conclusion: Wipeout 3 is a bad, bad game.

I hope that you can see just how awful this abomination of a "racing" game is. The blocky graphics aren't worth the few pixels that they take up, the music is like getting an ear operation from R2-D2, and the ships handle like elephants in mud. Add in a tacked-on combat element that unsuccessfully tries to add depth, and you get a miserable mess of a game. If you want to have fun racing hovercrafts in a sci-fi setting, pass on Wipeout 3 and get any of the excellent F-Zero games instead - you won't regret it.


1st April 2010, 07:16 PM
I 100% agree. At least the manual and cover printout does a good job as an alternative to firewood. :g:+

Albino Ace
1st April 2010, 08:32 PM
...Wow. Just...wow.

Are you implying the 1st or 2nd WO games looked that much better? Its PS1, what do you expect?

Personally, I liked most of the music in WO3. It really depends on taste. You can just mute the music it if it bothers you that much.

As for the gameplay, sounds to me like you just need more practice to get acquainted. It's difficult but not impossible. WipEout isn't exactly a game for casuals.

Dan Locke
1st April 2010, 08:55 PM
Dude, it's April Fool's Day. Wipeout 3 is my favorite racing game ever. Also, my Beat Zico video is actually a Rickroll, and Google didn't really switch names with Topeka.

1st April 2010, 09:28 PM
You should've given it away once the days over... surely you should've expected some to take it serious. :g

1st April 2010, 09:33 PM
How is that an April Fool's joke? It hasn't "fooled" anybody into thinking WO3 is bad. You think everybody else has read your book, Dan Cocke: My Opinions About Everything? XD
And then you actually try to imply that other people are stupid for not realising you were "joking" with your giant "I'll make it obvious for you fools" text... :D:D:D

Dan Locke
1st April 2010, 10:04 PM
What? The joke is that I'm harshly criticizing an excellent game, and for idiotic reasons - criticizing the graphics for being rendered by a PlayStation, criticizing the music because it's techno, etc. It's no different from Something Awful's front-page piece on Deadly Premonition (http://somethingawful.com/d/news/deadly-premonition-review.php) (or, at least, the opening page), only it's the other way around. I put the blue text in after Albino Ace took it seriously.

2nd April 2010, 01:16 PM
What? The joke is that I'm harshly criticizing an excellent game, and for idiotic reasons - criticizing the graphics for being rendered by a PlayStation, criticizing the music because it's techno, etc.

Great joke :):g!
You are free from a plasma shot :):lol.

2nd April 2010, 11:42 PM
lol. when i stared reading your post i was prepping to shoot it down...hard. anyway, i liked wipeout 3 for all the reasons you ''hated'' it. :lol

2nd April 2010, 11:56 PM
Reading this on April the 3rd gave me a heart attack until I scrolled down. Sadly this is what some people I know think of this game. :(

3rd April 2010, 03:34 PM
I started with rage (http://johan.kiviniemi.name/blag/ffuu/ffuu.png) and i calmed with

Criticize one of the best high resolution of the PSX games (in think it's near 640x240, 640x480 or something, which for PS1 is high), and the electronic music "where are the guitars, lol" was the best part of your joke.

Due to internet, i have to include one more "jokes day" in my calendar (Spaniards have another "fools" one, the 28th of december).

4th April 2010, 12:21 AM
ha! same as wolfkill here, was prepping a response as I read. Good stuff

4th April 2010, 03:46 PM
For everyone's future reference - Large images (as defined on this forum) are still large images on April Fool's Day, and even if the April Fool's jokes only last for one day, the infractions last a lot longer.

6th April 2010, 01:33 AM
I wasn't gonna hate on it knowing all the hate probably already lined up for it lol... ;)

Wip3out reminds me of Bruce Lee... Because it's older, classic and stylish... I don't know why it just does... :P So I feel Wip3out is a Legend of a game...